Every day, I remind myself: I know who I am. It’s not always easy, but it’s necessary. Speak life into yourself, love yourself, and live for the person in the mirror.
When I wrote the quote, “The person holding you back is you,” I was in one of the darkest places in my life. I was overwhelmed with feelings of doubt, insecurity, failure, and disbelief. I couldn’t fully grasp what my life had become—how I had suddenly found myself a single mother, forced to start over, to rebuild, and to even consider the possibility of trusting someone new with the most important people in my life: my children.
And yet, here I am today—still single, still holding the standard that my children deserve to see me in a relationship with a man who truly values us. I’ve always held that bar high because my children mean everything to me.
Self-Sabotage and Doubt
Looking back, I can now admit that I truly was the person holding myself back. I was stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage, questioning my worth, replaying the memories of my broken marriage, and wondering how I could have let it all fall apart.
I kept asking myself, “Does he know who the fuck I am?” Silently, in disbelief, I’d repeat it, over and over. I was a woman who took care of her home, her family, and her life with love and dedication. I wasn’t someone who hung out, partied, or lost myself in the streets. I was a homebody who valued stability and the beautiful family we had built.
But that wasn’t enough to compete with the chaos of the streets, and it crushed me. I blamed myself. I convinced myself I wasn’t good enough. And I allowed that doubt to weigh me down for far too long.
Building Myself Back Up
I realized that I had to rebuild me. No one was coming to save me—I had to remind myself of who I am. I’m Bilquis Bint mutha freaking Ali, and every single day, I stood in front of the mirror and told myself:
- “I am love.”
- “I am life.”
- “I believe in me.”
Little by little, those affirmations helped me heal. They reminded me of my strength, my worth, and my power.
To Anyone Going Through a Dark Time
If you’re in a place of doubt, heartbreak, or fear, I want you to know this: there is light at the end of the tunnel. You are not defined by your failures or your past. You have the power to rebuild, to love yourself again, and to step into the life you deserve.
Look in the mirror and speak life into yourself. Remind yourself of your strength. Believe in the person staring back at you—because you are worth it.
Keep going. The best chapters of your story are still being written.
Final Thoughts:
This journey wasn’t easy, but it’s mine, and I’ve embraced it fully. I hope my story inspires you to believe in yourself, even when life feels impossible.
💬 Let me know: What’s one way you speak life into yourself during hard times?